Very nice.

There are some times when I sound just like him, just like Andrew. I remember standing across from him as he rolled his eyes, or watched as he blatantly ignored my every movement for days. That was his way. You messed something up, you dropped the ball, and you were punished with silence. I can't remember ever seeing him yell. The tone of his voice changed and I heard the day slide into darkness. He only told you once, and that was if the job was new. If it was an old task or something you should know, you didn't get once. You got never. And then the silence. When it would happen to me, I'd buckle down and wait it out. I'd do my tasks to the best of my ability and eventually the laughter would resume and of course it was at my expense, but it was laughter all the same. And usually it was pretty freaking funny. But that's how I work. Those are the moments when I am most like him. I don't yell, I don't ask a thousand times with a sweet voice or kind heart. The work needs to get done so I do it. I don't run behind and clean up or do over. I do it myself. To me, not doing your best is a slap in the face when I have do it for you. So yeah, it's quiet time right now.

Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy

I think it's time to make a brief note about life. So much has changed and I look back on those posts from a year ago and barely recognize myself. I guess it works like that, one chapter ends and so on and so forth. It's hard to say these things without sounding like the background commentary on a sitcom about my reflections. But now it's all good.

I am dating Mike Robertson, we've been together for a while now, living together since September or so. We have a room mate who, although he lives in Seattle/Portland/San Diego/Las Vegas/Reno, will still be considered part of the household. Who ever thought I'd be close to a born again Christian ex-baseball player who scouts for the majors, blond hair and blue eyes. But Mike is the big part of that equation. People ask me what he does for a living, I say saves the environment one EA at a time. I bake cakes and seat people for dinner, he tells Big Business and the government, sorry dudes, can't build here- that's a coastal preserve. He's so smart it's scary, but he likes when I ham it up for him. He gets a real kick out of seeing Shannon and me together. He's so cute with his black squarish hipster glasses and plaid shirts. He's growing a mustache now, we'll see how long it lasts. No tattoos, no piercings, my mom loves him. My grammy loves him. Nancy is a big fan. I can't go a day without him. Oh and Shannon, oh shannon. That's my road dog. Have you ever met someone more talented and driven and gorgeous in your whole life? When we get together our voices sound like typewriters tied to alarm clocks. I still have Dustin, although we're really far away and our schedules rarely link up. Soon I will see him again and I'll feel the familiar happiness of just hangin' with the one who saved me. Shannon has Kati Vaughn, I have Dustin Griffin. That guy saw me through all of the crazy that was San Antonio and let me be me. Even when it was scary and ugly and highly intoxicated. I'm going back to school in the fall, after taking the summer off to go to Japan. Oh there will be stories to tell. And I think I'm finally ready to do it all over again.